We all want to feel unique—to have something that sets us apart, a quality that makes us special. But what happens when the way we make ourselves special is actually hurting us?
Sometimes, without realizing it, we build an identity around struggle, sacrifice, or limitations. We tell ourselves stories like:
- “I’m the one who never needs help.”
- “I’m the person who works harder than anyone else.”
- “I’m different because I don’t care about the things others do.”
- “I can handle things no one else could.”
At first, these beliefs might feel like a source of strength. They set us apart, make us feel important, even give us a sense of control. But over time, they can become traps. If we’re not careful, the things that once gave us a sense of identity can start limiting our growth, keeping us stuck in patterns that no longer serve us.
How This Shows Up in Beauty and Self-Perception
In beauty, this can manifest as refusing to allow yourself the same care and grace you extend to others. Maybe you pride yourself on never wearing makeup, not because you genuinely dislike it, but because you’ve built an identity around rejecting it. Or maybe you’re the friend who “doesn’t care about that kind of thing,” even though deep down, you do—but admitting it would feel like betraying the version of yourself you’ve committed to.
On the flip side, maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you must always look perfect—that you’re the person who never leaves the house without a full face, or who has to be the most put-together in every room. Instead of being a form of joy or self-expression, beauty becomes a pressure-filled performance.
Letting Go of the Harmful Versions of “Special”
What if you allowed yourself to just be—without clinging to an identity that keeps you from evolving? What if you weren’t the exception to the rule, the one who has to struggle, sacrifice, or maintain an exhausting image?
Giving yourself permission to change, to soften, to care about things (or stop caring about things) is a radical act of self-acceptance. It doesn’t mean you lose your uniqueness; it means you stop making yourself special in ways that hurt you.
You are already enough—without the struggle, without the pressure, without the need to prove anything. And that, in itself, is truly special.
