“Character is the restrictive shaping of possibility,” Ernest Becker tells us. Read that again. It’s not poetic fluff—it’s a stark reminder of the trade-offs we make every day. Every choice, every “yes” we offer to the world, is also a “no” to a thousand other possibilities. That’s what character is: a narrowing of the infinite into the manageable, the safe, the predictable.
Think about beauty. What’s your makeup routine? A stroke of eyeliner, a swipe of lipstick, a blend of foundation—it’s all a form of declaration. “This is me,” you say. But it’s also, “This is not me.” You pick the bold red but skip the electric blue. You master the smoky eye but ignore the glitter trend. These choices define you, but they also limit you. And yet, that limitation feels good—secure, even. It’s easier to shape a version of yourself that fits than to confront the chaos of endless possibility.
Are you shaping your character—or is it shaping you? And if you let it all go—the defined lines, the curated choices—what could you become?