Though we’re all just skeletons beneath the surface, what we truly experience in a relationship is the attraction, connection, and effort we put into making each other feel seen and loved. Physical attraction plays a big role in relationships, and while it’s natural for appearances to evolve over time, maintaining that spark can still be important to both partners. Regularly talking about how you each feel about your appearance—and your partner’s—helps keep that attraction alive.
Here are some outer appearance-focused questions couples can ask each other:
Do you ever feel like I’m not putting enough effort into my appearance? If so, how could I improve?
Are there any changes you’ve made to your appearance that you feel I haven’t noticed or appreciated?
Have there been any times when you wished I dressed or groomed myself differently for certain occasions?
How important is it to you that I maintain a particular weight, fitness level, or physique?
Do you feel like my style aligns with how you see our relationship, or would you prefer a different look that reflects us more?
Are there specific ways I can support your own efforts to feel attractive and confident?
Is there an aspect of my appearance that you think I should prioritize more for the sake of our relationship?
Open conversations about appearance help both partners feel confident, valued, and aligned with each other’s preferences.